Why use pronouns?
You may have noticed that people are sharing their pronouns in introductions, on name tags, and at the beginning of meetings. This gives everyone in the room the opportunity to self identify instead of assuming someone's identity or which pronouns they use. Including pronouns is a first step toward respecting people's identities and creating a more welcoming space for people of all genders.
How is sharing pronouns more inclusive?
Pronouns can sometimes be a signifier for someone's gender identity, but not always. We do not want to assume people's gender identity based on expression. By providing an opportunity for people to share their pronouns, you're showing that you're not assuming that their gender identity is based on their appearance.
What If I Don't Want to Share My Pronouns?
That is okay. Providing space and opportunity for people to share their pronouns does not mean that everyone feels comfortable or needs to share their pronouns. Some people may choose not to share their pronouns for a variety of reasons, e.g. they are questioning or using different pronouns, they don't use any pronouns, they don't feel comfortable sharing them at that moment or in that space, or they fear bullying or harassment after sharing. *In the case that someone has left pronouns off the nametag or chosen not to share their pronouns, please refrain from using pronouns for that person and refer to the person by what is on the nametag.
Mistakes and Misgendering
Misgendering refers to the experience of being labeled by others as a gender other than one that a person identifies with. Because many (not all) associate their pronouns with their gender identity, using the wrong pronouns intentionally or unintentionally is a form of misgendering. If you accidentally use the wrong pronoun when identifying someone, please apologize or say "thank you", and immediately use the right pronoun.
Everyone makes mistakes, please take accountability for your mistake and continue using the correct pronoun. The important thing to be mindful of, is to not unload your guilty feelings on transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people or expect forgiveness. They might have a strong reaction to the misuse of their pronouns and need space to re-center themselves.
What About PGP?
There has been a shift away from the term "preferred gender pronoun" or "PGP" to just using "pronoun." This change was made because a person's pronouns are not just preferred; they're the pronouns that must be used. In the same sense as mentioned earlier, gender was removed because pronouns do not always reflect or indicate someone's gender.
Tips for Gender-Neutral Language:
• Practice, practice, practice! Use gender-neutral pronouns such as "they" and "ze" while visualizing the person who uses them. This is especially useful to do right before you're about to see the person.
• When addressing groups of people or people whose pronouns you haven't been told, use gender-neutral language such as, "siblings," "third graders," "students", "friends," "folks," "all," or "y'all," rather than "brothers and sisters," or "guys," "ladies," "ma'am," or "sir."
• Use descriptive language if you do not know a person's gender, pronouns, or name. e.g. Can you give this paper to the person across the room with the white t-shirt and short brown hair?
Learn more: Glossary of LGBTQ Terms
Adapted from the following resources:
National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine: https://nap.nationalacademies.org/catalog/26424/measuring-sex-gender-identity-and-sexual-orientation
GLSEN Pronoun Guide. Retrieved from https://www.glsen.org/activity/pronouns-guide-glsen
Office of LGBTQ Resources: https://lgbtq.yale.edu/
